I continue to believe in democracy

A few days ago, on Friday July 22nd, Norway experienced a terror attack: the bombing of the Governmental headquarters in Oslo and a massacre at a Labour-party youth camp at Utøya, an island in Buskerud County. Today, a few days later, I finally manage to put in words some thoughts, after being occupied with digesting the overwhelming amount of images, messages and news washing over me. Almost a 100 people were killed (about 68 young politicians age 16-25), and many more were seriously injured. Shortly after the attack, people were inclined to blame muslim extremists to be responsible for everything and started questioning the norwegian immigrantspolicies and the lack of assimilation. The perpetrator turned out to be a 6 ft. tall, blond, blue eyed norwegian, claiming to be an anti-muslim christian, desiring to "start a revolution and reform the european governments" and called his attack "awfull but necessary." 

I don't know any of the victims, but nonetheless I've been moved to tears, I'm appalled and shocked. Why? Could it be the fact that my oldest son was about to attend a similar political youthcamp this week, on the same island, Utøya? Or the fact that I, and many of my friends and family, have studied, worked and live in Oslo? Could it be a fellow grief due to a sense of "lost innocence", that our peaceful country has become an innocent victim of hatred and violence? Are we shocked about the fact that the perpetrator wasn't an "alien" or "one of them", but as a matter of fact "one of us"? Why has this episode moved millions of people, around the globe, to send condolances and flowers, light candles and pray for Norway? I think this episode, has shaken us all, and challenges our conceptions, believes and values.

http://www.vgtv.no/#!id=42454

This video shows the response of a young politician, Stine Renate Håheim, being interviewed by a journalist at CNN. Her words match the messages of the norwegian Prime Minister and the King of Norway: 

"To those who are responsible for this attack: You are not able to destroy us, you can not destroy our zeal for democracy! No one can ever scare us from being Norway! This evening and tonight we will take care of each other. We will never give up our values. The answer to violence is even more democracy, never naitivity!" (Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg July 22nd, 2011)

"I continue to believe that freedom is stronger than fear. I continue to believe in an open norwegian democracy and society. I continue to believe in our opportunity to live in liberty and safety in our own country." (The King's speech on July 23rd 2011)

No, I'm not a norwegian citizen, but I've lived here for more than 20 years and I'm proud of this small country, where its inhabitants refuse to be broken and, instead, stand together in grief and refuse to give up the basic norwegian values: democracy, equality and liberty. Today all over the world, at 12 am, norwegian time, norwegians have taken a minute of silence, to remember all who have been killed or injured in this terrorattack. I hope you will do the same, and join us in our peaceful fight for democray, liberty and safety. Let's be the change we want to see in the world!

Moving out and moving on...

The past months I've been absent. Not absentminded, but rather unavailable in cyberspace, occupied with major changes in my life. 2011 has been like a ressurgence: things, seemingly impossible, unobtainable or rather utopic, suddenly were visualized, materialized and established:  a new life was unfolding! But, in order to start "anew", I needed to leave "the old", sell and clean my home, say farewell to my neighbours, colleagues, storekeepers and all those other comfortably wellknown people who made my life liveable. Yes, we hugged and tears were shed, despite the fact that we all realized I'm not dying, I'm simply moving on....

(Wild strawberries in the backyard. Photographer: Jeanine Bruun)

I simply moved to another county to live with my beloved and start working in a new company with new colleagues, got some fancy new gadgets who will enable me to improve my performances, met some new shopkeepers and neighbours and will have to find a new physician, dentist and other people who provide all I need. Kinda scary to leave all the "safe and wellknown territories" behind... but at the same time, I'm excited and eager to start my "scoutingtrip", a treasurehunt so to speak: discovering who I am, where I should go and how I can be the change I want to see in the world.

The abilitiy to savour the moment..

As you might have noticed, I haven't been publishing any posts lately... the explanation is quite simple: I needed to prioritize other things in my life, like getting engaged, cleaning out/fixing and preparing my apartment for sale, working around the clock, taking care of my kids (yes THEY did have an easter-break, I didn't), taking over our new house we'd just bought in another county and attending jobinterviews in the same area, enjoying some stolen moments with my beloved and entertaining friends. The days seemed to vanish in thin air and I had to force myself to exhale, grab a bite and treasure the simply things in life: sunrays breaking through the clouds, the smile of an old lady passing me by, an unexpected visit from an old friend, a hug from my youngest one, a nice glass of cold Chablis on a sunny afternoon after a long day's work... I sure hope I'll never loose that ability... please remind me to stop up and savour the moment! ;)

A chilled Chablis on a sunny afternoon (photographer Jeanine Bruun)

The art of communication

Too often... we fail to communicate... our words miss target...

May your words be soothing to the wounded, bring joy to the brokenhearted, and justice to those who are suppressed and tortured! (this video says more than words can describe....)

You can never hold back spring!

Sometimes life can be tough… trust me, I’ve had my fair share. And just when I couldn’t imagine life getting any worse, my dad died, in the midst of a snowy winter. It seemed as if the whole world reflected how I felt inside: abandoned, wrapped in a cold, greyish, heavy blanket of snow and ice.

Tom Waits sings “Winter dreams the same dream every year… Baby you can never hold back spring. Remember everything that spring can bring!” Yes, I longed for and dreamt about a warm, colourful, new spring. The strange thing about winter is, we don’t know how long it will last: 6 or 4 months, who knows? But one thing we know for sure: winter won’t last and spring will come! That’s what keeps us going on, despite the long, dark winter nights, heaps of snow and slippery roads.

Tom Waits’ song “Spring” enhances the message of the movie “The Tiger and the snow”. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, I suggest you do. It’s an enchanting movie with impressive performances, a moving story and beautiful music which can move you to tears. "The blushing rose that will climb, spring ahead or fall behind…”  Both Tom Waits’ song and the movie convey a message of hope and faith in things unseen, in the midst of hardship, suffering and despair. 

(Trailer for the movie “The Tiger and the snow” by Robert Benigni)

In the midst of my “winter” I had given up on “spring”, but I did know about the turn of seasons. I refused to hibernate and decided to believe a breakthrough would come. Spring came when I least expected it: suddenly a man turned up and his love managed to melt away my snow, thus creating brooks which nourished the hardened soil and brought new life. No, my life isn’t perfect, but this experience has filled my life with joy and hope for the future. New winters will come, but I can handle them as long as I keep my focus. It's about being willing to believe things unseen, despite the circumstances. It’s about rising up, stretching towards the light, moving on, looking forward, believing the best is yet to come!  "You can be sure, I will never stop believing!" (Tom Waits)

Dancing in the rain...

Yesterday it seemed summer had arrived in Norway... suddenly we had 21 degrees Celcius and people started wearing sneakers, colourfull skinny tops and thin summerjackets. Today we were back to an autumny feeling: rain and only 5 degrees. Quite depressing, waking up to a grey, rainy day. I met lots of people today,  complaining about the weather, but at the same time: longing for summer, green grass, blue skies and sunshine! In my lunchbreak a colleague and I went outside to get some fresh air and suddenly, though it was raining cats and dogs, and the wind almost blew us away, I felt like dancing in the rain. And I did. In Fred Astair-style I swirled around the lamppost, leaping for joy, refusing to be affected by the grey, cold and depressing circumstances! What happened? Some bypassers raised their eyebrows, others laughed. Maybe I managed to crack open the grey sky and show them a glimpse of sunlight? (so what are you waiting for? Go ahead and leap for joy!)

Dancing in the rain (photographer unknown)

That's not my name!

I don't know about you, but my name matters to me. It's about how I perceive myself, introduce myself, and an important part of my identity. Given to me by my parents, a name with a special meaning, they'd wanted me to have.  It's been following me for many years and I've heard it in many different ways: with an american, french or norwegian accent... spoken in anger, shouted out in joy, whispered softly in adoration. No matter how it is uttered, it still acknowledges me and my existence. Sometimes people call me other names: "Hey you", "Sweetheart", "Creative chick" or "Bitch". Those names only describe people's opinion about me or the role they'd like me to have,  and I shouldn't care... but it's so easy to be affected by those names, clinging to me like lables or judgments... I don't want to be called names, I want to be ME!

                                                                            "That's not my name" by The Ting Tings...

So what about it? Next time you'd like to address someone, how about using their name? 'Cause you know... in doing so, you acknowledge their existence and you might just find the way to their heart, instead of making them feel like another anonymous nobody?

A change of scenery

This day started like any other day at the office: lots of assignments, stuck inside a small office with bad air and no possibilities to vent. I could've felt very sorry for myself, especially after a quick glance out of the window, noticing people going for a stroll along the riverside without wintergear. Instead of moaning, I decided to do the same in my lunchbreak. What a great experience: I felt the sun on my face and the wind blowing through my hair, heard birds sing and people laugh, saw smiling faces and sunlight reflected in the windows of the officebuilding. Well, I forgot to eat, but at least my senses where nourished by a simple change of scenery! 

Reflections, Union Scene, Drammen (Photo: Jeanine Bruun)

  

Don't be nice, be real!

Who would have thought I'd be sitting here, blogging away? My boyfriend may faint -after all, he's more cautious in using social media- , the kids might be embarrased "Duh!" and my boss may be shocked... Should their opinions stop me from doing something I like, for the rest of my life -and who knows how long that will last-? Maybe it's about time I do something I want , without worrying about other people's opinions?

Today I had a quick bite with an inspiring, norwegian leader and author, Kai Roer. He challenged me, when I told him about my childhood dreams to be an author. "So? Why don't you just do it?" I glanced at him, my fork with crispy salat in midair, "Well.... " - I stuttered, lost for words- ... "Being a single mom, having responsibilities.... need a stable income in order to take care of the kids?" He didn't pat my head or offer me comfort... instead he went straight to the point "It's about time you stop making excuses and rather find reasons for doing what you love to do!" -ouch-

So, here I am: an urban, single mom in mid-40's, doing what I love to do: writing, sharing my thoughts, experiences and observations on life. Yes, I'm taking a chance, I might fail, but I will learn, rise up and try again. You might find me boring, you might get irritated, you might wish I'd never ever started. But you know what? That's ok, 'cause I might even inspire you to do something you'd love to do, but didn't, simply because someone critized you. So? What are you waiting for? Go for it and pursue your dreams! After all, what have you got to loose?

Don't be nice, be real!