The art of communication

Too often... we fail to communicate... our words miss target...

May your words be soothing to the wounded, bring joy to the brokenhearted, and justice to those who are suppressed and tortured! (this video says more than words can describe....)

You can never hold back spring!

Sometimes life can be tough… trust me, I’ve had my fair share. And just when I couldn’t imagine life getting any worse, my dad died, in the midst of a snowy winter. It seemed as if the whole world reflected how I felt inside: abandoned, wrapped in a cold, greyish, heavy blanket of snow and ice.

Tom Waits sings “Winter dreams the same dream every year… Baby you can never hold back spring. Remember everything that spring can bring!” Yes, I longed for and dreamt about a warm, colourful, new spring. The strange thing about winter is, we don’t know how long it will last: 6 or 4 months, who knows? But one thing we know for sure: winter won’t last and spring will come! That’s what keeps us going on, despite the long, dark winter nights, heaps of snow and slippery roads.

Tom Waits’ song “Spring” enhances the message of the movie “The Tiger and the snow”. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, I suggest you do. It’s an enchanting movie with impressive performances, a moving story and beautiful music which can move you to tears. "The blushing rose that will climb, spring ahead or fall behind…”  Both Tom Waits’ song and the movie convey a message of hope and faith in things unseen, in the midst of hardship, suffering and despair. 

(Trailer for the movie “The Tiger and the snow” by Robert Benigni)

In the midst of my “winter” I had given up on “spring”, but I did know about the turn of seasons. I refused to hibernate and decided to believe a breakthrough would come. Spring came when I least expected it: suddenly a man turned up and his love managed to melt away my snow, thus creating brooks which nourished the hardened soil and brought new life. No, my life isn’t perfect, but this experience has filled my life with joy and hope for the future. New winters will come, but I can handle them as long as I keep my focus. It's about being willing to believe things unseen, despite the circumstances. It’s about rising up, stretching towards the light, moving on, looking forward, believing the best is yet to come!  "You can be sure, I will never stop believing!" (Tom Waits)

Dancing in the rain...

Yesterday it seemed summer had arrived in Norway... suddenly we had 21 degrees Celcius and people started wearing sneakers, colourfull skinny tops and thin summerjackets. Today we were back to an autumny feeling: rain and only 5 degrees. Quite depressing, waking up to a grey, rainy day. I met lots of people today,  complaining about the weather, but at the same time: longing for summer, green grass, blue skies and sunshine! In my lunchbreak a colleague and I went outside to get some fresh air and suddenly, though it was raining cats and dogs, and the wind almost blew us away, I felt like dancing in the rain. And I did. In Fred Astair-style I swirled around the lamppost, leaping for joy, refusing to be affected by the grey, cold and depressing circumstances! What happened? Some bypassers raised their eyebrows, others laughed. Maybe I managed to crack open the grey sky and show them a glimpse of sunlight? (so what are you waiting for? Go ahead and leap for joy!)

Dancing in the rain (photographer unknown)

That's not my name!

I don't know about you, but my name matters to me. It's about how I perceive myself, introduce myself, and an important part of my identity. Given to me by my parents, a name with a special meaning, they'd wanted me to have.  It's been following me for many years and I've heard it in many different ways: with an american, french or norwegian accent... spoken in anger, shouted out in joy, whispered softly in adoration. No matter how it is uttered, it still acknowledges me and my existence. Sometimes people call me other names: "Hey you", "Sweetheart", "Creative chick" or "Bitch". Those names only describe people's opinion about me or the role they'd like me to have,  and I shouldn't care... but it's so easy to be affected by those names, clinging to me like lables or judgments... I don't want to be called names, I want to be ME!

                                                                            "That's not my name" by The Ting Tings...

So what about it? Next time you'd like to address someone, how about using their name? 'Cause you know... in doing so, you acknowledge their existence and you might just find the way to their heart, instead of making them feel like another anonymous nobody?

A change of scenery

This day started like any other day at the office: lots of assignments, stuck inside a small office with bad air and no possibilities to vent. I could've felt very sorry for myself, especially after a quick glance out of the window, noticing people going for a stroll along the riverside without wintergear. Instead of moaning, I decided to do the same in my lunchbreak. What a great experience: I felt the sun on my face and the wind blowing through my hair, heard birds sing and people laugh, saw smiling faces and sunlight reflected in the windows of the officebuilding. Well, I forgot to eat, but at least my senses where nourished by a simple change of scenery! 

Reflections, Union Scene, Drammen (Photo: Jeanine Bruun)

  

Don't be nice, be real!

Who would have thought I'd be sitting here, blogging away? My boyfriend may faint -after all, he's more cautious in using social media- , the kids might be embarrased "Duh!" and my boss may be shocked... Should their opinions stop me from doing something I like, for the rest of my life -and who knows how long that will last-? Maybe it's about time I do something I want , without worrying about other people's opinions?

Today I had a quick bite with an inspiring, norwegian leader and author, Kai Roer. He challenged me, when I told him about my childhood dreams to be an author. "So? Why don't you just do it?" I glanced at him, my fork with crispy salat in midair, "Well.... " - I stuttered, lost for words- ... "Being a single mom, having responsibilities.... need a stable income in order to take care of the kids?" He didn't pat my head or offer me comfort... instead he went straight to the point "It's about time you stop making excuses and rather find reasons for doing what you love to do!" -ouch-

So, here I am: an urban, single mom in mid-40's, doing what I love to do: writing, sharing my thoughts, experiences and observations on life. Yes, I'm taking a chance, I might fail, but I will learn, rise up and try again. You might find me boring, you might get irritated, you might wish I'd never ever started. But you know what? That's ok, 'cause I might even inspire you to do something you'd love to do, but didn't, simply because someone critized you. So? What are you waiting for? Go for it and pursue your dreams! After all, what have you got to loose?

Don't be nice, be real!